1. The giant snoring. He can't help this, I realize that. Does that mean that I don't want to punch him in the throat any less? Nope, pretty sure I would love to hit him over the head with my computer right now.
2. No Forever Lazy in pregnancy sizes. Yes, I had a Snuggie since 2009. When I was living on the west coast and would fly back to the the east coast to visit that thing that was the best damn thing I could bring onto the plane besides my iPod. Now there's the Forever Lazy. I was so excited to this invention due to how cold I always am. Then I remembered my belly isn't exactly flat anymore. I want to be warm like everyone else with the stupid smile of a fleece bodysuit WITH a butt flap embracing me!
3. MY STUPID ASS LOUD NEIGHBORS. These assholes should be shot. I live in a townhouse in what was promised to me by the real estate lady to be a quiet complex. LIAR!! The jackasses to the right of me usually decide around 1a.m. that they want to fight with each other and slam doors, yell, be inconsiderate never lived in public fucktards. They literally made my bed shake making the giant and I think we were experiencing another earthquake one night when they were fighting. I hate these people and if they didn't know what my car looked like I would torture them.
4. The giant being allergic to dogs. This. Is. The. Shittiest. Thing. Ever. I am a dog person. I've always had dogs. Dogs are awesome. I'm an attention whore and dogs are totally ok with that. The giant doesn't understand this because well, he's allergic to dogs and has never really had that awesome bond that you can have with your dog. He tried being around a dog before and ended up in the hospital so it's not just a case of sneezing a runny nose. Which sucks because if that's all it was, his ass would be taking Claritin and I would be snuggled up with a pit bull right now. He's still snoring so the dog seems like a way better choice atm.
p.s. if you're one of those crazy ass people that think pit bulls are evil, I really don't care what you have to say, I have owned six and never had any issues with them but my dachshund tried to attack anything that moved ;)
5. Maternity coats costing $50,000,000. I like fashion. A lot. Even though I'm usually wearing yoga pants and a hoodie with flip flops. When I'm not pregnant that is my almost everyday uniform. I don't believe being pregnant is an excuse to go out in public looking homeless or pretending like they don't make clothes that fir pregnant women. They do, and sometimes they are actually not that bad. That being said, it has turned rather OMFG it's freezing out and I couldn't avoid buying a preggers coat any longer. People are smoking crack with how much they expect me to pay for a coat that I will only wear for a few months. Anything that I have seen that remotely interested me has been the cost of two months worth of diapers. I just couldn't bring myself to pay more than $50 for said coat. Do not get me wrong, I don't mind spending a few hundred on a nice coat when I can wear it for more than ONE winter, but these assholes tried making me pay $70 for a coat that was supposed to be on sale. I just read this rant again and I sound so cheap.
6. Leaving the warm south for the frigid midwest. I moved back to the south after living in the Pacific northwest for four years this past March. I had finally gotten accustomed to the unforgiving heat of my home state again when the giant got a job offer he couldn't refuse in the midwest. Where it is colder than I ever remember WA being. Where walking the 50 ft from the car to the inside of a building makes me so cold I'm pissed off and don't even want to get groceries but will spend an hour and a half in the store just so I don't have to go back out in this bullshit weather. Oh and apparently it snows and assload here. Which I don't know how to drive in and will not risk mine or other's safety pretending like I do. The locals here say the summers are pretty. They better not be lying.
literally one of the beaches where I'm from. I left this glorious scene for this...........
want me to help you make this pretty?
ReplyDeleteyou did :) I plan on singing your praises very, very soon
ReplyDelete